Mary Stephens Eaton (October 6, 1922-December 15, 2003)
Mary Margaret Stephens was born in St. Louis, Missouri, where her father (Frank Monroe Stephens) worked for the telephone company. Her mother, Helen Carolyn Settles Stephens She had five siblings (Helen Carolyn Stephens Wood Booth, Catherine Stephens Barrett, Robert Stephens, Mary, Elizabeth Ann Stephens Tobin, Susan Stephens Morley). The family moved to Cleveland, Ohio, then Columbus, Ohio, back to Cleveland, and finally to Wisconsin.
Mary went to a Catholic School in Columbus for the beginning of first grade until 8th grade. She remembered every nun who taught her. She remembered playing in a ravine, that she was an awful tomboy, loved to swim and dive, and that her best friend was her brother, Bob. She was very religious until 9th grade at St. Mary’s of the Spring. Her close companions tended to be her siblings. Her sister Catherine’s mental illness was very traumatizing.
In 1937 the family moved to Shaker Heights and lived on Chesterton. She attended Hathaway Brown School for 11th and 12th grade. As an 11th grader, she met Cyrus S Eaton, Jr. across the street and invited him to a school dance. He was five years older. Mary was allowed to visit him at Colgate University for a frat party. She attended Smith College but left after two years to marry Cyrus on July 11, 1942. He was ill and spent their wedding night in the hospital. They moved to flight training school in Arkansas, Florida, and Texas. They were good friends with Jim and Dottie Hopstetter. Cy became a pilot and went to a base in Colchester, England, while Mary moved back to her family home and worked as a secretary in an advertising agency. Cy’s plane was shot down on his first mission. Riddled with shrapnel and bullets, he was rescued by a Dutch Fishermen, but it was thought he had died. The two years he was in prison camp were very difficult for Mary. When Cyrus escaped from prison camp and returned in 1945, they first lived at the guesthouse at Acadia Farms, and then moved to Cy’s mother’s home at 626 Houghton Road in Northfield, Ohio. They lived next to Catherine (Sissy) and Harvey Barrett.
Mary and the family lived very isolated while Cyrus was involved in work. Mary helped her father-in-law Cyrus Eaton by acting as his hostess when he entertained international guests. Their children (Cyrus born March 20, 1946, John born August 16, 1948, Cathy born July 23, 1950, Elizabeth born December 20, 1953) were raised on the farm, attended private schools, rode horses, skied, and played tennis and swam at their home. Cy was deaf, and Mom’s teaching career began by her teaching him first to speak and then to do his schoolwork. This training catapulted her into teaching at Hawken School working with headmaster’s wife doing special reading teaching in elementary school. She taught there for over 30 years as a reading specialist and study specialist, and she was a mentor to many teachers helping them understand thinking skills. She continued her education at Case Western Reserve University and graduated in 1976 where she put her heart into writing. She and Cy hosted many family gatherings and opened their hearts to many family members. Mary never cared with the focus on riding and horses.
Her best friend was Joan Nordstrom, and she was very close to her sister Dibbie who lived with us when she was getting a divorce. Mary took courses in Japanese floral arranging, tree identification, and other things that enriched her life. She was a life-long learner. She organized the weddings for Cy and Toni, and Cathy and Michael. She always remained close to her mother and siblings.
She and Cy traveled frequently. They traveled for an extended period in Italy and Spain with their German friends, Herman and Nani Brandi, and the Eric and Ruth Kemna. They traveled around the world, traveling to India, Mexico, China, Russia, Eastern Europe, Germany, Israel. They took the children to Greece, Italy, Rumania, Hungary, The Gambia, and on ski trips to Colorado, Ellicottville, NY, and Utah.
She and Cy moved to County Line Road in Gates Mills, Ohio, where they lived next to Harvey and Connie Barrett. At that time, Cy’s financial situation and business deals were failing, and they went through bankruptcy. In 1987, Cyrus said he wanted a divorce. Through journaling and close connection with family and friends, they worked through this traumatizing period, remaining best friends always.
They moved to Moreland Courts on Shaker Blvd, Shaker Hts, Ohio and lived in a lovely condominium. Mom loved finally living near her friends and being able to walk to the market, book stores, and nearby Shaker Lakes. She and Cy continued their cross country skiing. After Mom retired from Hawken School around 1994 at age 72, she continued working with students at Hathaway Brown School and tutoring at their home.
Much of their energy was consumed with Cy’s rehabilitation after his massive stroke in 1988 and her treatment for colon cancer starting with emergency surgery in 1999. Mother researched treatment, communicated with the family, and was an amazing advocate for Cy as she attending every therapy session, and as together they worked on the exercises at home.
In 2001, Mary and Cy moved to Kendal Retirement/Nursing home in Oberlin, Ohio, where they regained their independence and flourished. Cy had a electric scooter and easily drove to therapy, get the mail, get food. Mary joined the floral group and drama group, and made many friends. When her cancer returned, she withdrew into a smaller life revolving around the many visits of family and friends and staying in the lovely cottage that looked out on a pond. They walked daily. Mom decided not to do any more chemo or any other kind of treatment. Hospice care helped Mary stay in their home. She taught us all how to let go of life and to die with dignity and grace, always retaining her humor. She died on December 15, 2003 with Cy, Cyrus, John, Cathy, and Elizabeth at her side. At her death, Elizabeth opened the window, and a single Canada goose flew to join five others flying away.
At the first memorial service, many friends and family spoke of how she had mentored, encouraged, and loved them. At the second one in June, all the family gathered and celebrated what a remarkable wife, mother, and grandmother she was. Mary Stephens Eaton brief biography and photos